Touching evil
by Claire O'Mack
Summary: Carol leaves, but this time someone comes after her, the one person that she can not say no to.


I know I have not written for ages, but the urge had left me. I find that if I don't feel like writing then what I do write is often hurried and of low quality. Finding myself yearning for a walking dead fix in this long hiatus I realised that I knew the answer. Write my own little tale, please enjoy.

 **Touching Evil**

This was not an end or a beginning, it was simply something that just had to be. She slipped out in the dead of night, unseen and unheard. It was easy for her now, to move silently, to observe others movements and slip unnoticed between the shadows. It had not always been this way, once, not even that long ago, she had been weak, dependant on others, but no more. Now they were dependant on her, and that was why she had to leave. She couldn't kill for them any more. Well she could, but she didn't want to. She had felt her humanity slipping away. At first she had ignored it, then the voice within grew to a shout , and finally she lay awake at night, her mind screaming at her to stop. Stop the killing, stop the constant death that seemed to follow her, and anyone she cared for. So she had. Slipping into a car that was stood out front of the gates she turned on the engine, pausing to make sure no one had heard she pulled away slowly, leaving the lights off she found her way for about a mile by moon light. When she was sure she was sufficiently far enough away from Alexandria she turned on the lights and pushed the car to a greater speed.

She had known all along that they would come looking for her, but by leaving a note for Tobin, who was a heavy sleeper, she knew she would have at least a few hours head start before he woke in the morning, and presented her note to one of her group. Carol suspected it would be Rick, but it could be Michonne or Maggie. She knew however that Tobin would not go to Daryl, there was no love loss between those two, and however much she tried to deny it she had loved Daryl, and Tobin knew it.

As dawn broke, Carol decided to get off the road, travelling by night was dangerous when it came to walkers, but she had no fear of them, that fear had gone the moment she put a bullet through Lizzie's head, at that moment she would have been grateful for a walker to come up and end it all. She had continued on for Judith's sake, and of course Tryeese. Carol shook her head at the memory forcing the images from her brain and concentrating on the matter at hand. Looking around she spotted a well used dirt road leading off in to the forest. Turning the car she drove down it, looking for a suitable place to pull over and get some rest. She had no idea how far she had come since leaving Alexandria, but she suspected it wasn't far enough. If Daryl found out she was missing, he would come for her. She knew it deep down in her bones that he would never let her go so easily. So much had been left unsaid between them, so much distance separated them now, but neither lack of truth, or miles of road would lessen the bond they had built over the last few years. The one thing he didn't understand was she was leaving for him. He was the one thing she would never compromise on. If his life were in danger then she would kill. She would chop down a thousand men, and then walk over their rotting bodies to get to him. Carol was sure however that she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did that for him, and he wouldn't be able to see her broken either. He would blame himself, tear himself apart until the seams ripped, and they both ended up on the wrong side of sane. Truth be told Carol thought she had already crossed that line once or twice, only able to pull herself back, because another crisis had come up. Then the leash had snapped, in a grimy little room in a slaughter house. The look of a single dying woman, one that had crossed the line too many times, and had nothing left inside. Carol saw herself in that woman, and when Daryl had held her and she felt the fire dim low in her belly she knew it was time to go.

Spotting what looked like a log cabin off in the trees, Carol pulled the car off the road and headed down an over grown path. The trees bent and cracked as the car pushed past there over grown limbs, until she finally emerged into a make shift driveway. The cabin had obviously been abandoned long ago, the gravel drive was overgrown with weeds, and the windows were mostly broken. The place itself looked sturdy enough however, and in any case she did not plan on being here long.

Parking the car a long the side of the building so it would not be spotted from the road, Carol climbed out and pulled her rucksack behind her. Swinging it over her shoulder she grunted at the effort. She had packed food and water to last at least five days, as well as several hand guns and knives. She may have been on the run, and trying to avoid killing but she wasn't stupid, the world was a dangerous place, and to go out unarmed was just plain suicide. If that had been her intention then she would have done it long ago.

Pushing on the cabin door, she was relieved to find it unlocked, the place smelt damp and a fine layer of dust covered everything from the window ledges to the sink. She moved further into the dingy room, looking left and right, her knife at her side still in her belt but her fingers closed a little tighter around the brass handle. Hearing nothing, and noticing the place looked relatively undisturbed, she dropped her rucksack on the dusty table and moved over towards the bed in the corner of the room. She placed her hand on the cover and it felt damp, wrinkling her nose she carefully peeled it back and felt the sheet beneath it. She allowed herself a small smile as it felt dry and soft. Moving the blanket off carefully as not to cover the sheet below in dust she picked up the blanket and place it on the floor between the bed and the wall. Looking around she spotted two doors. One was probably to a bathroom, but the other was anyone's guess. Moving to the door next to the bed she knocked on it. Listening for any nose beyond the wooden panel carefully before trying the nob and opening it.

It was, as she suspected a small bathroom, only a toilet and a small stand in shower, both looked like they hadn't seen a good clean in a while, and one corner of the shower was covered in mould.

"Guess I won't be using that tonight." She said to herself as she closed the door and moved on to the next room.

Repeating her earlier actions, when she was finally sure no one living or dead was in the cabin she opened the door and allowed herself another smile. It was a closet full of blankets and pillows. As well as a small free standing heater, and canned, and dried foods. She had unconsciously landed on a gold mine. Grabbing a blanket and a fresh pillow, Carol closed the closet and made a note to come back and grab whatever she could carry later.

Laying down, under the fresh blanket, her head on a nice sift pillow, Carol was sad that she couldn't stay her longer, but she knew she had not gone far enough to avoid being found. She would have to move come night fall.

As she fell into sleep, she reasoned that she would find another place like this, another cabin, maybe another group, but at that thought she shuddered, there was no other group, only her own, and she was sure they were closer than she realised.

She woke with a start, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, her eyes slowly adjusting to the dim light filtering in though the window. There was someone there she was sure of it, she couldn't see anyone, but she could here them breathing. Her muscles tensed, her pulse quickened and her ears listened for any sound in the darkness.

"You were easier to creep up on than I thought you would be."

Carol jumped at the voice, her hand grabbing for the knife laying on the bedside table next to her, she was out of bed and on her feet pointing the blade at the darkened corner, as a light snapped on, flickering in the darkness illuminating his face for a moment, before it snapped off and the smell of smoke drifted to her nostrils.

"Daryl you, I could have hurt you." Carol said still holding the knife up and standing ready for a fight.

"Still not sure if you gonna or not." Daryl said indicating to her weapon as she quickly lowered it and sat down heavily on the bed. Daryl pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning against and sat down next to her. They both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, but had probably been only minutes as Daryl finished his cigarette and aimed it out the broken window.

"So ya gonna tell me why you left or are we just gonna sit here?" Daryl asked leaning back and enjoying the comfort of a nice clean bed.

"Sit here I guess." Carol replied still feeling shocked that she had been found so quickly, and embarrassed that he hand managed to sneak up on her so easily.

"Well I ain't gonna keep askin, but as long as ya know, the only place your going when you leave here is back with me, then I can live with not knowing." Daryl said eyeing her out of the corner of his eye. He could tell she was on the verge of anger before she even twitched. He was ready for it, knew that when he had seen her leaving out of his window that night that tracking her would be the easy part, convincing her to come back with him, would be the real task.

"You have no right to tell me what I can and can't do. I made the decision to leave, I'm a grown woman who can take care of herself. Your not my husband, or my father, I don't owe you anything." Her anger almost tipping over into rage before she caught herself and looked at Daryl's sombre face.

"I thought you were my friend?" He said softly, almost so she couldn't here it, but she had heard it, and now she was feeling guilty all over again.

"I was you friend." Carol replied with equal softness, but Daryl didn't miss the past tense in her words. They hurt him, more than he realised they ever would.

"Was? so you have just forgotten us all, put us into a little box and moved on?" He asked his voice gaining in strength as he spoke until he was almost shouting.

"No not exactly, I just can't, its just not safe for me to have friends any more." Carol said not really saying what needed to be said but skirting round the issue. Something they both knew lots about.

"Safe, safe for who, you, or us, because I think you would be in far more danger out here alone, than back where you belong." Daryl said not understanding her logic, and feeling the frustration building inside himself.

"For both, I can't be near people any more, I can't keep killing for you." Carol yelled, her voice bouncing off the dust filled house and making Daryl wince slightly.

"Then don't, come home, make casseroles, or whatever the hell else you do, and live happily ever after with Tobin." Daryl replied unable to keep the resentment out of his voice at the mention of Tobin's name, but he knew if that's what would bring her back then he was willing to play any cards he had.

"Tobin." Carol huffed crossing her arms, and looking less and less impressed with his come home speech than ever.

"You really think he was someone I wanted, yes he was sweet and kind, and everything this world isn't, but he was also a fool, and fools tend to get themselves killed, especially around me." Carol said her foot now tapping a nonsensical rhythm on the floor. Daryl looked down at it briefly before turning his eyes back up to hers.

"Then come back for us, for your group we are stronger with you, we need you." Daryl said knowing it to be true, but also knowing he really wanted to replace the word we with I. Carol was silent for a moment, her inner struggle churned within her, once again questioning her decision, and once again going back to that scene in the grove, then to the massacre at Terminus, the on to the room at the abattoir, and finally to burning Karen's and David's bodies at the prison, the action that had started this all off. She had been banished then by Rick, he had not trusted her, she in truth had not trusted herself.

"I have killed so many people, I was banished for the first, and yet now my sins have been washed clean, all is forgiven, come back and fight with us again. Why? Why is killing ok now?" Carol said turning on her heal and heading for her rucksack. Her shoulders shook with anger as she heard him approach her from behind. She thought he was going to touch her, the warmth of his body was only inches away yet something stopped him.

"I am a killer to." He said his voice barely an inch from her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. She silently cursed herself for her weakness and forced down the urge to hold him to her.

"You kill when you have to, when your life was threatened, not defenceless children, and sick people." Carol said turning to him now, and stepping back from his closeness only to find herself wedged between him and the table.

"You killed because you were tryin to protect the group." Daryl replied his nerves getting the better of him at her proximity.

"And that is why I had to leave." Carol said trying to make him understand what she was feeling, but the look on his face only told her that he was getting more confused and frustrated.

"You think your the only one who feels it don't you, that the rest of us have no problem with killin people. Your wrong, I feel it every night, I wish the world would just go back to the way it was, but it aint gonna happen, so I think about all the good things to, all the good things we have because we whipped out some of the dangers along the way." Daryl felt his pulse quicken as Carol's hand landed on his chest, but it wasn't a gentle touch, she was pushing at him, trying to move away from him, but he stood his ground, unwilling to bend to her will for a change.

"Daryl" she warned as she tried to step passed him anyway and he reached out and held on to her arm.

"No not this time, you have to listen." He said and for a man of few words he was certainly finding his voice tonight. Carol did not relent quickly trying again to move passed him, but finally he took hold of both arms and forced her to look at him.

"You are not a cold blooded killer, you take no pleasure in hurtin others, you don't seek out people to kill, and you have protected our group with a strength no one but I knew you had. Don't throw it all away because you think you can't handle it cus I know you can." Daryl said his voice almost pleading with her now, his anger fading as he saw the anguish on her face, his heart broke a little then, realising just how broken she was.

"I think there is only one thing we can really choose in life, and that is whether we are good or whether we are evil, I am so scared I am choosing evil." Carol finally replied all her anger had drained out of her. Daryl removed one hand from her arm, lifting it to her chin and tilting her head up high enough until she raised her eyes to his.

"You are one of the kindest people I know, you would die for us, you are not evil." He held her gaze whilst he spoke but he realised she wasn't really looking at him, but into him, he shivered under the intensity of her gaze, but forced himself not to look away. If he was asking her not to run, he could not go and do the same by running away from this moment.

"I have touched it though, been so close that I could feel its presence within me, when I was taken with Maggie, when those people had us I wanted to hurt them, I plotted to kill them, led them to their deaths, and I was glad they were dead. That's when I knew I had to go, I couldn't do that again, I couldn't be sure I would come back the same person." Carol admitted finally feeling to emotionally drained to fight. If it had been anyone but Daryl holding on to her right now, she could have walked away. But it was him, and his warm fingers felt like beacons in the darkness, drawing her back to herself once more.

"We have all been there, I was there before this shit storm kicked off, you pulled me back, after Sofia, after the farm. I touched evil to, down in a quarry alone speaking to my brother who sure as hell weren't there. But you were there and you helped me though. Let me help you now." Daryl implored as Carol reached out and placed her hand over his heart, this time her touch was gentle, resting just to the left of his sternum she felt his heart beet under her hand. His soft breath wash across her face as she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Catching his sent, along with the damp of the cabin.

"I can't go back to how it was, I need something more." Carol said looking at him purposefully now as Daryl nodded.

"Anything you want, if you wanna stay away from the fighting then you can. If you need to help you can pick of walkers in the guard tower, until you feel ready for more." Daryl said feeling more confident now as Carol looked down and then quickly back up at him with a small nod.

"That's not exactly what I meant, I meant I can't go back and be with Tobin, and wanting you from his bed." Carol replied the heat rising on her cheeks as she spoke and Daryl quickly dropped all contact he had with her. Stepping back slightly and running his hand through his unkempt hair.

"What ya mean?" Daryl said knowing exactly what she meant but somehow needing to here her say it.

"Its always been you Daryl, you saved me in every way a person can be saved, I wanted to tell you before but I guess I was, scared, yeah let's go with scared of hurting our friendship, of rejection. Of this." She said indicating the distance between them now as Daryl fished around in his pocket for another cigarette. He lit it saying nothing, he wanted her, he had for a long time, but all of this had caught him off guard. He had pushed his feelings for her way deep down inside, and when she had started a relationship with Tobin he had brooded silently and had vowed to move on. Now she was asking him to feel it again, to bring it all back to the surface after blocking them out for so long.

"it ain't like that, I just need a moment is all." Daryl said finally as he noticed her sudden need not to be in this room after his prolonged silence.

"How long do you need?" Carol asked finally a slight anger touching her voice as Daryl drew in another breath of his cigarette.

"I mean you have had three years, you either want something more or you don't." Carol finally stated realising this was it, they were either going to have something together, something that would keep her from stepping over the abyss, or she was leaving him and their group forever.

"I don't need any time to know I want you, have done for years, I just don't know if your thinkin straight right now." Daryl said not wanting to push her into anything while she was in an emotional state.

"I don't think there is anything I have ever know with more certainty." Carol said taking a step towards him now, taking the cigarette out of his mouth she took a long drag on it then put it out under her boot. Leaning up she placed her hands either side of his face and drew him in, until their lips met. It was soft at first, lips closed barely touching, his hands remained at his sides, until Carol tilted her head and deepened the kiss. It was like the dam burst then, a tidal wave of emotion and pure lust came pouring out. Daryl grabbed on to her, pulling her in so no space remained between them. He groaned slightly into her open mouth as her hands ran to his belt. Unhooking it almost frighteningly fast as his jeans dropped to the floor. His hands ran up her back and round her front, moving her shirt off her shoulders and dropping it to the floor also. Her pants followed, only breaking the kiss to remove his shirt they were back pressing together as Daryl moved his lips down the column of her neck and across her exposed shoulder.

"So long." He said as his lips slipped down further between her breasts, kissing his way to the edge of her bra and back up to her lips once more. He moved them quickly to the bed, knowing he would not last long. Three years of built up frustration, and longing was coming to a head, and even as she cupped him through his boxers he could feel the beginning of his release starting.

"No please, I can't." He whispered into her ear and he removed her bra, and went back to kissing her now exposed breasts. She arched into him as he took a hard nipple into his mouth. Enjoying the pleasure he was giving her. She wanted to return the favour, but she knew he was close, and wanted to respect his wishes. When his mouth left her chest she felt bereft for a moment, but was soon gasping for breath as his lips landed high on this inside of her thigh, as his fingers drew down her panties. Her head fell back against her soft pillow as he ran his fingers up her opening, she was wet and ready for him, had been for a long time, and she knew he was pleased by the sighs and groans his was making as his fingers penetrated her. She arched her back needing more but unable to find her voice. Daryl didn't need her to tell him though, they had a level of communication that went far beyond words, and shedding himself of his underwear, whilst keeping rhythm on her hard sensitive nub he moved up her body and quickly positioned himself at her entrance. He gave her one last look, saw her nod and he pushed in. slowly at first, knowing neither of them could take it if he moved too soon. It was like coming home, and the moment he was fully buried within her, Daryl knew there was no place on earth he would rather be. A jerk of her hips got him moving, he could feel her tightening around him already and quickly realised this was going to be over for them both pretty quickly. He slowed down wanting it to last.

"We have our whole lives for slow Daryl, I need this hot and fast." Carol said pulling her hands to his shoulders and holding on tight. He smiled at her, understanding the deeper meaning behind her words, as he quicken his pace, bringing them both over the edge within minutes.

He spooned her against his chest as she dozed in and out of consciousness, he knew in the morning they would be going back, and things would have to be explained, but for right now he was happy to hold her in the dark listening to her breath. He wasn't aware that she was just as awake as he was a pleasant little smile touching her face as she felt the first tendrils of sleep grasp at her. It was not the icy cold touch she had felt when she had been woken in the dark to someone in the room, the feeling of touching evil had rescinded once more, and now she was ready to go home.

THE END

Thoughts, feelings let me know, this was how I would have liked things to play out but I guess we don't always get what we want. Happy hiatus everyone, I prey for more caryl in season seven, but if not then I guess I will always have fanfiction. Thank you for reading XxX


End file.
